A Modern Day Love Letter To My Husband

Dear CJ,

This morning as you were making pancakes for the family and had my coffee ready for me when I came downstairs, I was already not in the best mood. Especially since your alarm woke me up at 4 am on a morning that our tot actually slept in. However, seeing your infectious smile melted away all those feelings of annoyance and spite. It brought me back to the reality that I should be forever grateful to have you in my life.

Our love story has taught me so many valuable lessons about life and has truly made me want to be a better person every day I am with you.

You’ve Got Mail

Seven years ago we “matched” and not in a traditional way. I had been testing the waters of this new way of dating called online dating. Truthfully, I hadn’t had the best of luck, to say the least.

One afternoon while at work I saw an email from Match.com. It was a notification letting me know that I had been matched with you. I was impressed with your photos – and yes even your pseudo modeling photos caught my eye- and thought what the hell might as well give it one last try.

Destiny did not have us meet up at first as we couldn’t seem to sync our busy social calendars until one night you were adamant that we should meet. I walked anxiously to the Stoneleigh P to meet you for what I thought was just a drink.

Little did I know I would be walking into the rest of my life.

I feel that the world knew we were supposed to be together as for when we finally got a drink and sat on the patio the wind came a howling and patio umbrellas came a flying. However, that did not stop our laughter and carefree conversation.

The moment I knew you were special is when you belted out “Sweet Caroline” just to put a smile on my face.  Your humor and infectious laughter is something I still fall in love with over and over again today.

Speed Bump

We had a few good first months and then life happened. You were pulled in one direction to be with family and I pulled away. While I missed you terribly during those 6 months I knew that the time apart from one another was something that we both needed in order to see if we were meant to be. It also helped us mature, grow, and fight for something we wanted.

In that time I quickly realized that you were someone different. You challenged me, cared for me, and made me love life in a way I had never before. It was our “speed bump” that made me realize you could be “the one”.

No one I dated in our time apart even compared to you and to this day I still feel the exact same way. I know I am not the easiest person at times, but you always have a way to calm me down and put my fears at bay.

 You are my safe place.

You + Me = Us

From the moment we started the “baby bears” 2.0 I could tell that we were both “in”. It began with taking a risk of moving to Austin together to jumping in feet first on becoming husband and wife. Your love never wavered.

We have been through some hard times in our relationship with moving to a city where you became a full-time grad student and money was tight with just me working. To going through our first family health scare with your mom finding out she had breast cancer. It is these hard times that let me see your true character. You are always there.

I truly got to see what kind of son you were during the difficult time of your mom’s cancer scare. You did everything you could for her and were right there if she needed anything at all.

Seeing you as a “son” helped me look into our future to see what I hope our children would be like one day.

And Baby Makes Three

Our relationship was truly tested when we had to go through the infertility process. Many men would be resentful or not patient enough to endure. Not you. You never once doubted the process or me.

I know while on the hormones I was a raging crazy lady and not once did you run from me (honestly I would run from me) and did everything in your power to make me happy. It was your strength and courage that helped me get through IVF so that we could both achieve our dreams of becoming parents.

Becoming parents is what has lead me to fall into this endless love with you. Seeing you in the role of “Dad” is one that you were made for.  You are the most amazing parent to Pierce. If he can grow up to be half the man you are then I will know we did a good job.

Also, I truly believe you are part superhero because the first few weeks of Pierce’s life were rough. I had many tears while you stayed strong for both of us. Believe me, I know it wasn’t easy being the brave face.  You were calm while I was hiding crying in the closet. 

I also know it wasn’t easy coming to me to talk about my postpartum recovery. Honestly, it was you that made me feel safe and ok to go see the doctor about my feelings.

You allowed me all the time in the world to work through my depression and for that, I am forever grateful to you.

Next Chapter

I love that you know me better than I know myself at times. You know when I need support, when I need extra love, and when I need a break without even asking.  I truly would be lost in life without you.

You are my GPS, my north star, and my knight in shining armor.

I know life right now is not easy with the stress of your career – including the weekly travel- and having a soon to be 2 year old while thinking of baby #2.

Nothing in our life right now is calm, except you.

I cannot wait to see what the next few years have in store for us.  I used to live in fear of the future. Instead, having you in my life has me excited about the future.

Thank you, sweetheart, for always being our constant and for doing all that you can to make us happy, our life full, and our hearts content.

Love,

Paige

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